Canada Bites Back!
by Iggymonster
Summary: Canada has a dire plan so intense and evil that it could make Russia jealous...sort of. Rated T for randomness and total boredom. Oneshot.


**A/N: Hello there! You may not have seen me before...well, that's 'cause I'm new here to the Hetalia fandom ^_^ I'm sure you're lovely, right? RIGHT? Well, hi. I'm just as weird as you lot all are. –Huggles-**

**Now that my little introduction is over, just one thing – I have no damn idea if this has been done before. I lack originality, so it probably has. Dammit. Hopefully it's got a more personal touch to it. Meh, I don't know. Just read it, m'kay? Remember to review if you like it and even if you hated it, um, like, tell me, OK? OK. **

Canada Bites Back!

Canada was sick and tired of being treated as though he was invisible.

A total shadow of the earth. Unknown. That sort of thing.

No matter how many times he had to introduce himself to everybody else, they'd forget him instantly. Well, that was about to change, since Canada was really angry and unhappy about it all.

Well, that's what he said anyway. To anybody who would listen...which was absolutely nobody, so Canada usually had to take all his anger out on a brick wall.

Even that didn't listen to him, nor did it even care what he had to say.

But anyway, Canada was furious now and thus was giving the brick wall a hard time. He tried talking to his teddy bear but it was no use. His teddy bear had no idea who Canada was, and in turn, Canada always seemed to forget the poor bear's name.

"I'm so sick and tired of being invisible!" Canada shouted, although his voice never seems to exceed fifteen decibels. "I've been quiet for too long and now it's time to make a stand!"

His teddy bear, which had been sitting near the brick wall bemused and bored, looked up with an empty look in its eyes and said, "Who are you?"

"I'm Canada," Canada smiled in reply, eyes twinkling with something not so nice. Something...malevolent and completely different from his usual neutrality. Somehow. "And everyone will know who I am sometime soon!"

The ambitious young boy stared down at the sheet of paper in front of him, smirking evilly at his deviant plan. Rubbing his hands together, he began chuckling like a maniac, which really wasn't a good look on him, especially with his cuteness contrasting.

"With this..." he sniggered, looking very pleased with himself. His eyes almost turned a crimson colour what with all the hatred and simultaneous arrogance gleaming through them. "I shall rule the world!"

He proceeded to laugh for about five minutes straight before actually getting to work on his super awesome plan.

Canada clutched his teddy bear tightly and, fortunately for his stuffed (only) friend, he had stopped laughing. His plan was perfect but how was he going to act upon it? Was it going to work?

...Of course it was! It was flawless, it was seamless, it was...

...Going to end humanity as we know it.

"Hey, Germany!" Italy waved his hands – yes, both – wildly at his, um, friend, if you could call him that. "I bought something for you!"

Italy was giddy with happiness and looked as though he could hardly contain his excitement. Germany merely sighed and turned to face the Italian with a solemn face, as though he'd been turned to stone.

"What do you want?" he asked harshly, but Italy took no offence. Instead, he pushed his arms out forcefully, hitting Germany's stomach with something hard and square shaped.

"Itsa mine, but you can borrow it if you wanna!" Italy's smile was starting to become somewhat creepy now yet disturbingly cute and infectious – too bad Germany was nonchalant towards adorableness and immune towards happiness. "If you do, then you have to return it! I know you will, I trust you from the bottom of my heart!"

Germany stared at it with a raised eyebrow. Upon seeing Germany's face, Italy's heart physically sunk and he gave off a hurt look, feeling dejected.

"Whatsa the matter?" he frowned, the smile completely faded. "Don't you like it?"

Germany loathed seeing that sort of face on Italy, no matter how much he would never admit that. Although he hated his cheerfulness, he hated it even more whenever Italy was down. He may be incompetent but still...besides, he's cute.

And also the only friend Germany has.

No matter how much he wants to admit that.

"No, it's just," Germany stopped mid sentence and twisted his mouth. "Just...I must ask you one thing."

Italy's smile returned albeit not as brightly as before. With some more hope, he began literally jabbing the item into Germany's tummy even harder. It didn't hurt though, but what Italy had in his hands wasn't an ordinary thing.

It was abnormal and deadly. Dangerous...lethal...a poison. Especially to the ears.

"Why the hell are you listening to Justin Bieber?"

Yes, that's right.

Canada, feeling fed up of being an unseen, unheard ghost, decided to unleash the wildest, most harmful weapon ever known to man. Justin Bieber.

Once Canada knew how much the kid was taking the world by storm, his arrogance once overshadowed by America started shining through.

"I'm brainwashing everybody," Canada weakly said to nobody, not even to the wall this time. Not even to his teddy bear, which seems to have run away. Probably got infected with Bieber fever, a disease that's incurable...sadly.

Canada saw absolutely no fault with his master plan and began feeling very superior indeed.

"Maybe now people will recognise me and not mistake me for stupid America!" unfortunately for us, Canada began laughing as though he'd just escaped from the funny farm. Or just high on laughing gas. Probably both.

"America..."

America turned to face his long term sort of not really rival, England, who didn't look too happy at all.

America's blue eyes immediately hit the item in England's hands. A CD.

A Justin Bieber CD. The worst kind out there.

"What is this shite that I hold?" England asked seriously, a large frown on his face. "I listened to it for about an hour and I think I've gone deaf. No, forget that. I think that I've lost thirty brain cells. I may even be stupider than you, if that's even possible."

America ignored his blatant insult and instead just stared at the CD.

"It's a Justin Bieber CD!" America sounded _way _too happy upon saying those two demonic words. He winked, flashing the peace sign aimlessly, and England crossed his arms across his chest.

"Yes, I know that," England sighed, dropping the CD to the floor, where it belonged. "I'm not an idiot, like you obviously are. Anyway, I do hope you're not the one responsible for this...this...monstrosity? I'm aware a lot of bad talent comes from your place."

As much as America wanted to take credit for Justin Bieber, he refrained from doing so.

"Nope, wasn't me, bro!" America flashed his teeth that shined perfectly, so perfect it wasn't even humanly possible. "Pfft, yeah. When was the last time you produced some awesome talent? I mean, look at me! I have Madonna and Lady Gaga..."

"You just proved my point entirely," England retorted, smirking. "They're basically the same person anyway. I'm pretty surprised and somewhat impressed that this, um, singer's not your responsibility. So, whose was it then? Your secret brother?"

He began to laugh at his own comments whilst America started to think. For once.

"Psh, probably!" America snorted, even though he had absolutely no idea who England was talking about. "But I do know it wasn't me, OK, dude? I know I'm totally known for awesome talent but Justin ain't mine! Just so you know!"

England didn't reply and instead stayed mute, still frowning though.

And somewhere, on top of the trees surrounding them, Canada was sat there, a sadistic grin crossing his face and sickening thoughts slithering around the demented head of his, laughing how his plan had worked. Or hadn't. Either way, Justin Bieber was the way to get world domination.

World domination, yes. A chance to be differentiated from America? Definitely not. Canada had to face it – he would always be compared to America no matter what he did.

Did he face it? Absolutely not. Will he? Never.

Meanwhile, in the far part of Europe...

Russia sat in his chair by the fire, feeling warm and cosy under a Snuggie, petting Russia-cat.

Bored and tired of watching pointless news on the television, Russia changed it over to a music channel – he was going on a long journey to Belarus...not that he wanted to, of course...and needed some new tunes to jam along to in the car. Why? Because that's how Russia rolls.

_And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh..._

Russia stared at the screen with violet eyes.

Then his eyes darted to the pickaxe near the door.

And the coat hanging on the coat hanger behind it.

"This is impossible," Russia muttered under his breath. "He is taking over world – I want to take over world! With my sweet face I could rule world and everybody shall bow down to me." He sighed, brushing Russia-cat off of his lap.

Russia got up, still in his Snuggie, and walked over to the door. Of course, before he left, he picked up his trusty pickaxe.

"Looks like I have some murdering to do. Goodbye!"

**A/N: Well, that was weird. TBH. I have no idea what the hell I just wrote. I write better things than this, trust me. It's not meant to be serious – just light hearted and fun. Don't be offended if you like Justin Bieber; personally, I don't. This just came to me on a whim so apologies if it's OOC or totally lame. The latter's the best explanation, don't you think? :)**

**I have so many Hetalia fics I wanna write so hopefully those shall be up soon! Yay! And hopefully they'll be better, and much more serious. This is carelessly written, let me tell you.**

**Anyway.**

**If you enjoyed it, then, wow. Good for you.**


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